Archive for Roadkill

Posted in Spirit Guide with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 22, 2010 by Colin Walker

Now, admittedly, the title of this post is relatively crass, but at The Playground, we believe that the first response is usually the correct response. That is why I am no longer allowed in the state of Ohio. And you’ll all forgive me, I’m sure, but when I saw this:

PETA and MADD got together and invented a nightmare.  “Where is the kick!?”

I “’bout lost my shit”, as my grandma puts it.

Now, this is the interwebs, and Photoshop is a very real thing. When you see this, you could easily be all, “Coddy, broham, that’s just some surrealist photo shoop-de-whoop.” Let me just stop you right there and ask you why we are friends, with you talking like that? Also, you’re fucking wrong!

Wrong!

That, is BrewDog’s Roadkill Beer. It is a real thing, from Scotland. And if you think that’s fucked up, let me show you this:

Hooooooooooo! Holy shit! You can get the damn things in Scottish regalia or dressed as butlers! And they are real taxidermied animals! What the hell is wrong with these people? I fucking love them!

Now, a lot of you are going to be butthurt. I know that. Some of you will squeal in absolute horror that those are real animals. You will cry in all manner about how that is wrong, and morally reprehensible. But, allow me to put your mind at ease. Yes, those are real, cuddly little squirrels. (You can also get them in  stoat or rabbit.) But, that hollowed-out husk of what would have otherwise been a cute living thing is wrapped around a bottle of End Of The World, BrewDog’s strongest offering. It’s 55% ABV, which, if you’re keeping track at home, means that this beer is stronger than vodka. There! I’ll bet you feel better now, don’t you?

Quit your fucking crying. You want something to cry about? MOMMY IS NEVER COMING BACK!

Anyhow, I suppose it goes without saying that I have to have this. You guys knew that from the get-go. And here is how you can finally give back to the site and its online community! This shit is $760! I need help buying it! I mean, yeah, I have $760, but I don’t have $760 for fucking beer. If you all get together and help, though, we can get this done and I will feature this beer in the Spirit Guide. Fuck yes! Who’s with me!?

You guys?