ipad, Gold Plated, Diamond Encrusted, ipad. Again. You Bastards.

Some of you, who have been here for a while, might remember this. That was truly horrible. And I don’t mean to turn this site into Planet ipad, but the tag in that cloud to the right seems to be getting bigger and bigger. Sorry for that.

At first I didn’t like the ipad. At all. I honestly didn’t see the point. You can buy a laptop for less that positively blows that thing away. It has no cameras, no Flash support, and is ultimately, in it’s first incarnation at least, a status tool for hipster elitist douchebags. I was at the Palisades mall on April 4th, the day after this thing came out, Easter Sunday, and sure enough, there goes this guy walking past me and my grandmother, just holding the damn thing. He even had a nifty little case for it. And, in case I have not made this clear, he was just holding the damn thing. Walking slowly, and holding it. Showing it off in the mall, just begging for someone to come up and ask him, hey, is that the new ipad? To which he would reply, fuuuuuddddaaaaa…Animal Collective…Irony…My Cock. Because we all know that is how hipster douchebags talk.

But, I can see how this piece of tech is going to usher in the future of computing. The interface is super-smooth, it’s portability smacks laptops in the face and calls them gutterbitches, and it does do all the social networking bullshit that most of the people who use the internet are online for in the first place. Also, in the last few years, Apple has proven that it knows what people want. So, okay, maybe the ipad isn’t so bad. I might even pick on up in it’s second or third gen, if Apple gets some sense, allows flash, increases the storage, and puts some cameras on that bitch.

But, this ipad, is not okay. Created by Stuart Hughes, this iPad is currently the world’s most expensive, with a starting price of $192,042. That’s almost $200,000 for a gadget that will obsolete in two years. It’s not even like spending that kind of money on a Ferrari, which is an exclusive piece of equipment. Even if you wrap the damn thing around a tree, you were using it like it was supposed to be used, and you were one of a comparatively small number of people to have one. Here, you’re paying 200k for a case. You fucking douchebag. Walking around with this thing is the equivalent of  going down to the gulf coast and hunting endangered birds, or going to Nashville and pissing on people’s heads. You are basically saying, I am so rich, that I can spend 200 grand on aesthetics, so go fuck yourself. May you get robbed a thousand times.

Better just give it to him, he doesn’t have all day.

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