What Do You Get The Man Who Has Everything?

Well, if he’s a 30-plus year-old virgin who can’t even pay for sex, you get him a mouse, shaped like a vagina.

I know what you are thinking. You are thinking, Codpiece, that ain’t no mouse, dawg. (You should really stop saying ‘dog’ like that. It’s not cool anymore.) But, it is. I’m serious.

Bam! Three-quarter view! Now do you see it? Svelte looking motherfucker, ain’t it?

Yep.

It’s even hollow inside, just like an …old tree.

So, that’s a real product that’s on sale somewhere. No, I don’t know where, and I don’t know how much, and if you ask, I swear to dedicate a whole post to the fact that you asked about this, using your Cristian Name and any recent photographs I have of you. Just, so, you know, everybody is aware.

In case you missed it, it’s called the G-Point, because G-Spot would have totally been way too obvious. Way to keep it low-key.  I mean, aside from your World of Warcraft eternal virgin, who would want one of these things?

“You’ll never guess where I’ve got my mouse right now.”

I can just imagine some corporate-type getting one of these for his desk at work.

“Pam, come in here and fill out this Exel sheet while I give you the data”

Pam looks at mouse uncomfortably

“Come on, Pam, just touch it.”

“I’m fucking outta here!”

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