What’s In A Name?

Robert Frost said: “What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
by any other name would smell as sweet.”

I’m pretty sure it was Frost. Either him, or David Caruso. Anyhow, what I’m getting at is Horatio Cane was right. We attach too many stigmas to a noun solely based on its name. Well, you guys do. I don’t, because I’ve joined this really keen group of people, and we’re all elevated and stuff and we don’t stoop to thinking about things in those terms. But I can’t tell you about them, or where we meet or anything because you’re not cool enough. So, stop being jealous.  I’m just saying.

Anyway, when you guys assign imagined attributes based on nothing more than title, you are proving yourself a small-minded person. Small-minded is so last year. That’s what Reverend Moonglow says, anyway. And I’d tell you how cool the Reverend is, and how much he’s got it together, but like I said…Sorry.

Have any of you been to Intercourse, PA.? No? How about Kutztown? I’ll bet you haven’t. And I know why. Because of the name. Sheesh.

“Oh, Intercourse! LOL!” –You, on your ‘Why I’m never going to Intercouse PA.’ BBS.

Well, you know what? Jokes on you! Webster’s first definition for intercourse is:  A connection or dealings between persons or groups.

What’s wrong with that? Sounds like a good time to me! The Reverend teaches us that we all have to get together and get fellowship to get good with the Swamplord. But never mind that! You were thinking of sex, because (and this has been brought up before) you guys are perverts.

And what’s wrong with Kutztown? Is it because ‘Kutz’ is almost Kunis, and all of you have some kind of issue with Mila Kunis? Because she is from the Ukraine and you are all racists? I will tell you there is nothing wrong with Mila Kunis. She is very easy on the eyes and did more than a passable job on that 70’s show. There is no reason for you to treat her like this.

“You people are monsters.”

So, are we over this yet? Can we grow up and understand that just because something or someone has an unfortunate name, it doesn’t mean that person or thing has any less value. And that when you meet my friend Jesus Condom, you won’t say anything negative about him?

Why are you snickering? What the fuck is wrong with you people? You know, when this kid shoots up a school, you’ll be partially to blame for laughing at his name like that. I’m fed up, I need some face-time with The Rev. I gotta change into my robes and get oiled up. You guys make me sick.

3 Responses to “What’s In A Name?”

  1. I’ve been to both Intercourse and Kutztown, PA.

  2. Hey, wait a minute. I think that quote is from Romeo and Juliet, by another famous author.

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