Abita Purple Haze Raspberry Wheat Beer

Spirit Guide

This week, Purple Haze.

“There must be some kinda way out of here
said the joker to the thief.
There’s too much confusion
I can’t get no relief”–Jimi Hendrix, Little Wing

Let me start by saying that I’m a little upset. Lately, especially in the urban nomenclature, ‘Purple Haze’, or simply ‘Haze’, has come to mean high-quality Marijuana of a certain strain. Upon seeing the name of this brew I raised an eyebrow in anticipation. But was I disappointed? Yes. There is no Mary Jane in this beer. Not only that, it’s not even purple!  What the fuck, dude?

So, right off the bat, I’m against this beer. For lying to me. I hate when inanimate objects intentionally do that.  Then, as I pop the cap, I examine the bottle. Around the bottom, and floating throughout, there was an ungodly amount of sediment and fruit pulp. Now, this being a wheat beer, it’s going to be hazy, and there is going to be some sediment, fine, I understand that. I also know that Abita uses real fruit puree to flavor the beer, and that’s cool. Good for them. But could you maybe filter it a little bit more? I’m saying, that last swig at the bottom of the bottle? Like drinking backwash at a pie-eating contest.

After the first bottle, I left that last couple of swallows in there. Call your uncle. He can have that shit.

As far as the tase of the beer overall, it’s not bad, it has what I would describe as a middle of the road fruitiness. It’s there, and you can definitely tell that it’s raspberry, but the flavor is not as prominent as it is in say ‘Son Of A Peach’ from RJ Rockers or ‘Audacious Apricot’ from Pyramid, and certainly not as extreme as the blueberry crotch-kick that is ‘Wild Blue’. But, compared to #9, or Sam Adams Cherry Wheat, it’s pretty fruity. Like your uncle.

“Not fruity enough? The fuck you say!”

As far as food goes, you be good drinking this with chicken or probably seafood, (I wouldn’t know. I am afraid that anything that is pulled from the water could actually be coming from an entirely different dimension, and that I could somehow accidentally eat my Fish-Twinner, (Fish-Twinner–Wikipedia) and therefore cancel my existence entirely) anything light would work.

“Don’t eat me, I am you.”

Overall, I’m not impressed. Here’s the breakdown:

Taste: Tart and half fruity, with a slightly hoppy back bite.

Drinkability: Just fine, ’til you get to the slurry at the bottom.

Alcohol content: At 4.2 ABV, you would be better off drinking Miller Lite.

Cost: About $10 a six pack. Too much. Get something else.

Hangover Rating: It has potential, especially if you don’t drink a lot. The sugar from the fruit could split your skull like wine.

Overall effect: Meh.

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