Hey guys, gerardo is not dead!

(Jesus, I Thought They Were Dead!)

“Pantene. Why, what do you use?”


Shit. Who can forget Gerardo? Well, we all could have, had I not just reminded you. Sorry, I guess. But here’s the thing, in 1992, Gerardo was kind of a big deal. Seriously.

I’m not kidding.  I know that some of you who might not be familliar with him are all like, ‘Uh, nice try, but…no.’ I know that my mom is thinking, ‘Ohh, Latin Candy’ and that is weird. But really, this dude was all over MTV that year, rapping bi-lingually with that goddamn bandanna on.

Dos mios! Is that the end of my career?”

In 1992, you could not get away from this guy. You’d turn on MTV and be unfortunate enough to catch Eric on ‘The Grind’, hat sideways, unlikely medallion hanging, gesturing and saying in pitch-perfect white-boy street-slang (I love hyphens) “Yo, yo, yo, here’s something that is so def right now! (Def, you remember def, it’s what you’re British Knights were.) Gerardo”s hot new video, ‘Rico Suave’!” Then, bam! three plus minutes of a smiling Latino gyrating his crotch.

Mariachis, always relevant.

The video wasn’t a complete bust, though. It was poolside, and he did surround himself with a bevy of bikini-clad mamacitas. Big hair was big, but it was 1992, y’all–just sayin’.

Pictured from left to right: Sadness.

So, what’s Gerardo up to now? Well, he’s not dead! He’s still doing music, although mostly Latino-exclusive stuff. He is also an executive at Interscope Records. There, he was responsible for signing such acts as Enrique Iglesias and Bubba Sparxxx. So you can thank him for that. He looks pretty normal now, too!

No more sassy bandanna! You guys shouldn’t have thought he was dead. I’m beginning to think that you are all racists.

One Response to “Hey guys, gerardo is not dead!”

  1. Mmmmm. Latino candy!

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