Steven Tyler Wants You To Buy A Riding Lawnmower Right NA-NA-NA-NA-NOW!

Former front man of Aerosmith and notable pill-head Steven Tyler visited a California Home Depot on Saturday, where he grabbed the store mic and went into impromptu renditions of ‘Love In An Elevator’ and  ‘Dude Looks Like A Lady’.

“I’ll be happy to answer your questions as soon as you answer one of mine. Where the hell am I?”

Store management didn’t seem to mind, as no charges were filed and the singer was permitted to stay and sign autographs. No word was given as to why Tyler was in the Home Depot, when he was supposed to be in rehab in nearby  Rancho Mirage. Could he have been buying the necessary materials for a DIY rig that would allow him to get absolutely blitzed and still remain upright? Could he be buying some car wax for his Dodge Ram, because it is the Mayor of Truckville but he forgot they gave him one gratis during that failed ad campaign, and the damn thing is dirty? Who knows? Not me.

All I do know is that it must be pretty fun to be Steven Tyler. I mean, he’s got so much money he probably shits gold-plated bricks of coke and pisses molten platinum. He’s high off his ass constantly, can say whatever he wants and gets to throw  street-jam karaoke battles next to the Anderson Windows. G’head, Steve.

“I can’t taste my face.”

6 Responses to “Steven Tyler Wants You To Buy A Riding Lawnmower Right NA-NA-NA-NA-NOW!”

  1. All Hail Joe Perry, the real talent, anyhow.

  2. You can be any were you want to be and just have fun being there it your place .So sing and have fun doing it .Bless you and love you and seeing you on Amarican Idel

  3. I love Steven Tyler. He is fuuckingg awesome!

  4. im sorry but you’re making Steven out as this big drug addict. Well you’re wrong. And if you had everything straight then maybe you would know that he’s clean now!!! So before you start calling him a pill addict then MAYBE you would know its ex-pill addict STUPID he wrote a book about it.. he has 2 magazines that say so AND he was on dateline E news saying how he messed up his life on drugs. But he’s CLEAN NOW!! And i guess you’re mad because he has more money than you or else you wouldnt be saying how he just comes up with drugs… Well you’re really stupid. And i hope you see this because its true :/

    • Look. At. The. Date. Of. The. Post. It says in there that this was right when he left rehab. Perhaps you should refrain from calling people stupid when replying to 18 month old blog entries, hmmm? Learn to use the internet. Also, I, for one, am happy that Mr. Tyler is clean and sober now. Congrats to anyone who can do that. But now he’s got all these clown raping allegations against him…That could be a problem.

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