Because I Had To, So Do You.

Listen, I spend a good amount of time on the interwebs trying to find stories that are semi-interesting without being way over-reported. It’s called Playground of the Inane, after all, not Playground of the Ultrafucking Important. If this was Playground of the Ultrafucking Important, I would have already told you that there is some next level shit going down in Haiti right now. Godzilla is on the loose down there or something, and if you want to help you can summon Mothra by texting  ‘Haiti’ to 90999.

But here’s the thing, as I’m looking around for these stories, I sometimes come across ideas or pictures that I would really rather not be subjected to. Like this one:

Wow. There are so many things wrong with this. Listen, I’m not sitting here telling you that I’m put off because there is this hardly-dressed dude on my screen. I’m a bigger person than that. There are probably more pictures of naked and half-naked women on the internet than there are of ANYTHING ELSE, so, some dude, whatevs.

I’m saying though, what the fuck is that dangling?  Is that a germ-mask? Does he have The Swine? Do you want him to give you The Swine? (You so totally do, because you are nasty.) What the hell is up with the pink arm and leg warmers and the tattered T-shirt collar beaded Village People neckthing? Why do you like this so much?

Seriously, if any of the ladies reading this blog (and I’m sure there are tons and tons) find this even remotely appealing, will you leave a comment or something? So I can make fun of you?

One Response to “Because I Had To, So Do You.”

  1. Thank you for permanently burning this image into my retinas. Every time I blink I see a ghost image of the surgeon’s mask mini diaper maxi pad ball sack holder thing.

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