We Are All Very Suprised That Gary Coleman Is In Trouble Again.

I’m not going to spend a lot of time on his. Gary Coleman was arrested over the weekend and charged with domestic violence. There are going to be a ton of jokes, (literally, there will be a metric ton of jokes–NASA study) mostly from that shill Jay Leno, but I’m sure everyone will be keen to get in on this gang bang. And, with a mugshot like this:

“YOUR SOUL IS LIKE PAPER TO THE FURNACE OF MY INTENT!”

It’s hard to blame them. I’m not going to stand here defending Gary Coleman. It probably really sucks being Gary Coleman, but if he beat someone up, he deserves some jail time. Come to think of it, he probably does better in jail than on the streets. Locked up, he most likely has some kind of fame playing novelty sidekick to some huge gangster type dude. Like Master Blaster from Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome, Flavor Flav to someone’s Chuck D.

“What ‘choo talkin’ ’bout, booooooooooiiiiiii?” “To boldly go…” Fuck it, too many parodies.

Ah well, maybe it’s for the best.

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