McSorley’s Irish Black Lager

Spirit Guide

This week, McSorley’s Irish Black Lager

Let the stereotyping begin! I’ve got some Irish in me, (No, not like that, you are a pervert.) not a lot, not so much that I’ve got friends named ‘Sully’ and immediate family in law enforcement. I don’t sit around with people of like ethnicity and discuss ‘The Troubles’ and talk shit on The Queen. (If you’re reading this–holla, you fine as a mutha…) And most of all, I don’t have shamrock tattoos and run around in Celtics Jerseys and shirts that read 100% IRISH. Those guys… Wow. You guys should desist immediately.

And then there is Black Irish.  I don’t know what that is! I suppose it’s a regional thing. It’s certainly not this:

I’m the best boxer in the world!

Because that is racist! And we don’t do that here. eracisim, ya’ll.

Anyhoo, I tried this beer last night and thought I’d write on it for this segment. There is this craft beer store about a half-mile from my house, and they stock all kinds of kooky stuff. The owner, John, knows me by name and even purchased some Aflac from my fiance. He is the best. TEAM C&R LIQUORS! I was in there and saw this. The bottle caught my attention because of the antique look of the label and the old pissed-off looking Mic (eracism) depicted in the doorway. Then I saw the name. ‘Danny Boy’ started playing in my head and I knew I had to try it.  To reinforce that, smaller writing proclaimed that it was brewed in the USA by Latrobe. What? Irish beer brewed in PA? Massachusetts or New York I’d believe, but PA? Shhhhhiiiiiiiit. But, like I said, I’ve got this bottle collection, and even though I didn’t think that this would be very good, I knew it was going up there.

Let me make something clear for the novices out there, there are three primary types of dark beer. There are porters, which use darker malts and tend to have a higher ABV than, say, a pilsner. The taste is more full-bodied, and it sits heavier in your stomach. There are stouts, which are like porters on steroids, accompanied by a wide variety of flavors such as chocolate and oatmeal. black lager is more like a traditional lager with just enough dark malts to give you a hint of the taste of a porter, all of the color, but none of the weight.  These terms have been muddied so badly that sometimes what brewers are calling stouts and porters are almost interchangeable. In fact, Sam Adams Black Lager is so damn dark and malty it might as well be a stout. Chocolate be up in that motorscooter. But That’s just Jim Koch, screwing with us.

“I just believe that you should be drunk off your ass.”

Let me put it like this, a stout is a heavy brawler. A brutish bastard with a cauliflower ear and jailhouse tats. Black Lager should be big and smooth, like Barry White covered in baby oil.

“You can try to run,  but my love is loooooooooong.”

On this front, McSorley’s delivers. It’s got a great, full-bodied taste, but it doesn’t taste like you just drank a loaf of pumpernickel blended with an old engineer boot. Unlike a pilsner, it actually tastes like you’re drinking something, and not chugging on some watered-down swill that’s eventually going to get you drunk. Sometime. Maybe. If I had a gripe with it, it would be that it tastes like there should be more alcohol in it then there actually is. I drank five of these things, over the course of about three hours, and while I felt pretty good, I wasn’t quite ‘there’. Maybe another .5 ABV would do it.

You can drink this with anything, but it’s going to step on lighter fare like white meat chicken. I’d recommend any red meat or hot wings(if they are really hot, the malts will help with that). It’s a steak and potatoes beer, all the way.

“Thanks, asshole.”

Good, tasty beer. Give it an 8.5. here’s the rundown:

Taste: Mellow and malty, without the consistency of paste.

Drinkability: Smooth sailing.

Alcohol content: 5.5%

Cost: Semi-expensive, about nine dollars a six-pack

Hangover Rating: Nil.

Overall Effect: A little underwhelming, but a great ‘social’ brew. 

One Response to “McSorley’s Irish Black Lager”

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