People Who Should Not Be Having Sex

In this feature, I will showcase individuals who should really not be having any kind of sex. Ever. At all.

We’re going to have to start the day off on a sad note. I’m sorry about that. Maybe it’s just me feeling cynical at the start of the workweek. Maybe it’s the heroin. I dunno.

“Sounds like somebody has a case of the Mondays”—Nina.

“BOOM”—Smith & Wesson.

But seriously, check out that fucking question, will you? I admit, could be we’re being trolled here. The answer is trolling without question. Or, it could be somebody who is just curious asking a very stupid question that is unrelated to them, but sadly, I don’t think so.

No, I think that there is really some idiotic 2^nd trimester teen out there that thinks that little Kei$ha Underwood Smith is going to emerge from the Smith love canal knocked-up. She probably thinks that every time a penis goes in there the kid is playing whack-a-mole. And that is just sad, you guys. Keep your little sister off the streets, for god’s sake.