Jesus! I Thought They Were Dead!

Okey-Doke! It’s time for something that is both fresh and dope! (These are the words I heard those kids using on A Different World. Now I am fly.) This is called “Jesus! I Thought They Were Dead!” (JITTWD) A feature where we reconnect with someone who was once quite famous but has since faded to a level of obscurity usually reserved for those no longer inhabiting this earth. The people we profile here aren’t famous enough to be featured on ‘Behind The Music’, or anything, but chances are, you will know who I’m talking about. Let’s start it off. Snow.

Snow? You’re godd**n right, Snow. In 1993 Snow made it BIG (big in caps means really big for those of you following at home) with his hit single ‘Informer’. How big? 8 million albums. 8 F**king million. You guys ever heard of someone called ‘Lil Wayne? A little black dreadlocked midget you can’t turn the radio on in the last three years without hearing? Kind of sounds like a Speak and Spell? Yeah. Him. Here’s some perspective: his album only sold 3 million copies. “Holy s**t.”—David Geffen.

If you don’t remember ‘Informer’, I’ll help you out. There was Snow, dressed in ridiculous clothes, (the early nineties were nothing but the late eighties as far as fashion was concerned) boom-shakka-lak-lakkin’ along in an unintelligible patois. It was catchy, but nobody knew what the hell he was saying. MTV even started showing a captioned edition of the video so that fans could follow along. If you missed that, and are still stumped about the words, I’ll help you out.  The chorus went: “Informer, you no say
that’s who I’m gonna blame
a licky boom boom down
Detective man said Daddy Snow
I stabbed someone down the lane
a licky boom boom down”

NOW you know who I mean. And now that you know those lyrics, you are a better, more fulfilled person. Your existence is somehow more complete for having learned them. I am the ambassador to the rest of your life for that. You are welcome. But to hell with all that, right? What’s the big question here? How did an Irish-Canadian wind up being a flash-in-the-pan Reggae musician? What came over him? How did we let him get away with that? No! None of those are the question! Next week, I’m going down to Louisiana to become a famous Zydaco performer, and that is perfectly reasonable. No, The question was, what’s up with Snow? Is he dead? Short answer? No! Snow is not dead! In fact, here is a recent picture. He looks like he’s going to pull a Chinese finger trap on that chick with his buddy!

So what’s he up to? Well, pretty much the same thing he was before. Except not nearly as successfully. He’s still making Reggae music, you just don’t hear it anymore. Life is like that, and that is perfectly okay. Furthermore, I think all of you are kind of morbid for assuming he was dead. That’s screwed up, you guys. Here is a picture of Snow with some Asians to close.

One Response to “Jesus! I Thought They Were Dead!”

  1. molikharvey Says:

    Snow, whazzzup?? What’s the name of your latest album? I’m definitely gonna be on it…

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